Friday, January 09, 2004
11:55 PM
homesick: am i?
my friends and family: they all asked me the same thing.
- do i wish to return to malaysia already?
- do i miss home?
since i couldn't find/define my feelings at those moments, they assume that i do.
even before i came to japan, my parents said to me,
"if you couldn't stand it anymore; if you are feeling homesick; if you miss home too much; u can always use the ticket earlier".
but to be honest, i have no idea.
the only sole reason why i do miss home, is because of them:
yes, that means You, my frenz, and my family.
other than that ... i feel indifferent*.
*note: a chameleon would best symbolize my situation
i mean, i love the efficiency, and sceneries of japan and singapore; i love the level of civilization that has been obtained; i love the 4 season that occurs once a year; and also admire the fact that these countries have already obtained social cohesion: a level of security in the community, whereby everyone knows, abides and respects the law and rights. but most importantly, i love the feeling of being independant in a foreign country: ur sole responsibility to take care of urself and if problems (aka shit) happens, solve it ur ownself
(note: u could also read it as zero-nagging from our very own parents ... hehe).
however, as the old saying goes:
there is still no place like home.
no matter how much i admire the foreign countries;
how ambitious i am to work overseas;
how long i would want to stay abroad (a year or more?);
i do recognize one fact:
that no where else can be like home.
perhaps i will change my opinion, if i can only braced myself and find the courage that is hidden to conquer the world outside. by then, i will probably start to make a note again or heck, even declare to everyone of you that i have finally found a second home. ;)